Dreamt of chasing a man back through a mall I’d just exited, because when walking the opposite direction on a bridge, I didn’t move to avoid him, and we bumped into each other. I didn’t mind but he muttered under his breath, “c**”, so I stopped, turned around, and said, “Excuse me? What did you say?” He had replied, “You’re a slow, fat-legged c***.”

I became enraged and stood there for a few seconds, then began chasing him. As I did, I passed Zufi and Bhumika sitting at a restaurant booth; they asked what I was doing and I told them. Zufi said, “Good for you, get him!” So I said, “Hold my mug,” handed the old murderer’s mug to her, and resumed my chase.

I caught up to the guy and jabbed him in the side with the long metal tip of my umbrella, yelling at him, “You a**h**e! That’s not how you treat people! Am I slow now?! Don’t you effing dare say that to any woman again! Or man either!”

Once that was done, he slunk away and I turned around to head back to retrieve the mug and resume my original intent to cross the bridge. I had ended up in a restaurant resembling Black Angus and as I was walking past the bar into the restaurant section so I could find the door, a big man at the end bar stool congratulated me, so I thanked him.


A Dream Partner

Before anyone else can say it: I know the majority of these things are picky or rather unrealistic. Part of the reason for making this list is so I can check myself. Besides, this is a dream list.

This list originated years ago and is of course under semi-frequent revision. Some things are subject to change probably. ‘Cause people increasingly ask me about it so it’s been on my mind. I’d be interested to hear any comments, especially regarding what seems reasonable and what’s too out there! I always appreciate perspective.
So, for my potential (likely hypothetical for the following reasons) significant other:

Somewhat important/necessary:

  • Well, I’m 99.5% sure, and comfortable, with my assessment that I’m cishet (cisgendered =identify with birth gender; het = from heterosexual). But I’ve never been asked out by any girl, so that’s why there’s the remaining 0.5%. I’ll leave it open because I won’t know until I’m faced with it, right? Though I trust my intuition. So preference is male.
  • Does not have become seriously angry in relation to the performance of professional sports teams.
  • Is smart but isn’t condescending to people who are just not as intelligent. Extra points if enjoys & is nice about teaching things. Esp. if smarter than me.
  • Patient, for the reason above.
  • Has a minimal amount of hypocrisy (as I know all humans are to some extent, including myself)
  • Is mostly ok with my lack of participating in PDA
  • Enjoys travel, books, BBC, superheros, anime/cosplay, and music. Bonus for the ability to sing or play an instrument. I’m a sucker for that. But that’s not a requirement, just easier for an interested party. Not like there are any though
  • No tree or ground nut allergies, specifically peanuts. I know it’s a little unfair but TBH, I’ve lived most of my life w/o romantic relationships, but living w/o peanut butter is beyond my imagination. It’d be the biggest shock of my life to find someone I’d give up peanut butter for. I think I have the capability, but really it’d be a boon if that wasn’t necessary. I suppose that would be a sign of true love (I’m half-joking here)

It would be cool but not necessary:

  • My height minimum? I think that’s fair, I’m 5’4″….Is it unfair? This is just a preference list
  • Hair neat when awake & about the public. At least not constantly a rat’s nest.
  • Doesn’t mind too much my lack of creativity
  • Captures or otherwise deals with bugs for me when I just can’t. Specifically spiders & roaches, I’m sorry. I know men can be creeped out by bugs too. I will try my best. “Deals” doesn’t have to be killing —if they wanna catch spiders and release them outside instead of killing them, kudos to them— but I don’t care as long as bugs are not in my house
  • Travel somewhere new for a vacation every three-ish years or so. Even if it’s just the next town over.
  • Spontaneous (somewhat) & affectionate
    • although a warning, I’m shy at being involved in PDA
  • Willing to try new things, but not too pushy

Chicago (6/23.15)

I wish we could go to Chicago together
A rare place I’ve been that you haven’t (yet)

If I hadn’t hurt us as I did, by this time next year we might have…

I love the Chicago thunderstorms, the powerful rain and the wind and the wicked-looking lightning

And I want(ed) to watch and share your first experience, with the storms and the city itself; a treat for me because it’s always been the other way around, and most of all because I love you
(Though I don’t know and don’t know if I want to know what you thought/think about that lack in me)

While it stormed in the city, I wanted to share with you the storm inside me bearing your name, one as powerfulas that outside, show you the surge of energy and exaltation in creation and share that with you

And hopefully instead of destruction the brewing storm in me would transmit to you, become a two-way surge,

We’d become a circuit and the electricity you brew in me would manifest-
(It might shock you at first but I was Static and you like to feel electric)
-paying homage to Zeus, Poseidon and Lady Aphrodite

Chicago is the one full dead daydream that I can remember, and I’m sad and glad I have it, because I can’t delude myself about any aspect of it,

Even if I wanted to, since I have lost the ability and have neither hope nor reason for daydreaming nor dagdrøm fuel. I know in my head it’ll be better for us both, that I don’t do those things. In order to let you be, as I must

One day in this reality, when you finally get to the city of bricks and jazz and thunderstorms you will have an untainted place all your own, because you will never know (unless you find this, but then for your sake you may forget)
what I wanted to share with you in Chicago

Blog Intentions


Hello All!

I am N, a kaleidoscopic twenty-something-year-old with ten years’ experience working with children and an equal love for children and books. My career goal is to work in publishing or editing, preferably in Children’s or YA Literature. I fervently believe in the power of stories to form identities, cultivate imagination, provide knowledge, and improve quality of life. As a publisher/editor, I would be able to live my dream with a career that combines all my interests.  As a blogger, I aspire to further cultivate my own mind, hopefully connecting with and entertaining any readers in the meantime.

I’ve been advised by a professor of mine as well as acquaintances in my intended career circle that I ought to create a professional/nonpersonal online portfolio for my writing. And I’ve done that.However, on this blog, I shall attempt to re-ignite my creativity and vent my mind through the freedom of none of my professors taking a look here (at least, I highly doubt they will and sincerely hope they won’t). For by my evaluation, years of strict schooling have drained much of my originality.

The content will likely end up varying wildly; however, I know right now that some posts will be about  books, my life experiences, and dream journal-type posts as well. For now, let’s just say I’ll go with the flow, shall we?

Presently, I don’t know much about blogging, technology, or blogging technology, so your patience (and advice!) is welcome. ^_^